Four Years.

January 13th, 2005 will be a day I will never, ever forget. The details of the day play over in my head so often and the fact that we are left with so many unanswered questions just makes it that much harder. Today is the day, four years ago, that my wonderful, truly remarkable mother in law passed away in the middle of surgery. I'll never forget the phone call, the emotions, the most dreadful feeling you can experience, the hurt and the shocking pain as I found out my children, and future children would no longer have their grandma in their life. More than anything, my heart broke for them. My heart aches knowing Carter and Jonah will never know them and the only memories Kyla has with her are pictures. My heart aches for Sean and Kevin who have experienced so much loss, so young. I wanted them all to know her, and I mean KNOW her, remember her and treasure her like we did. I wanted her to see them grow up, play with them, spend time with them and love on them. I wanted them to know how giving she was, how selfless she was and how loving she was. She had so many characteristics I idolized and really wish I carried. My kids loved her and she cherished them like any doting grandma would.

There are so many memories we had together, and although I know I will never be able to remember them all, I am going to try to remember a few special ones...
The first one I would specifically label as a memory, but more so a ritual we did on a weekly basis. At least once a week, we always met up for lunch at one of her favorite local restaurants. She was always throwing the kids quarters for bouncy balls and the games which were often broken. We had SO many conversations over lunch and I am so thankful for this. Another great memory was when Kyla was born and her being in awe of her granddaughter. She came in the room as soon as I was moved to my resting room and was just so excited. I'll never forget all the things she spoiled our baby girl with. A funny thing, that most people who knew her know about was her obsession with catalog shopping. She dreaded any trip to the store, but would buy so many random, funny things from catalogs. We always joked that when we went to her house it would be like Christmas all over again. She was constantly giving us stuff. I'll never forget living with her for a few weeks before we moved to Cape Coral. Great memories and great talks. I'll never forget the many trips and days spent at the beach house. I'll never forget watching her read books to Kyla and the boys as they sat on her lap. I'll never forget her wacky sense of humor..she was all about fun. Another great memory was our trip to Orlando together. We had such a great time, with the exception of the flat tire on I75 at 2 oclock in the morning. I'll never forget her laugh, smell and absolute pure love for her family.

Forever I will treasure the memories that were made and forever I will be saddened that there weren't more. We all miss you, the kids miss you, your sons miss you. You were an amazing mom, and fabulous grandma. We know you are watching over us and trust that one day we will see you again. We love you mom!!!